bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
wow bdsm is so cute
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