that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
