wanna go halves on a baby?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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