Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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