Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
