You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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