Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
