i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
