you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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