I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
