super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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