You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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