I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
