We won't sleep together?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
