honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
