I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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