I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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