sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Just cropdusted the office
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
