i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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