MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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