I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
