The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize