Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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