69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
