im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
