at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
