I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
