your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
