I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
