the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
