do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize