Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
