she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
