hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
