They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I believe in your delicious
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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