she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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