Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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