it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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