grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is wine microwaveable?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
