She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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