it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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