I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
