Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
