Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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