Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
