I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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