I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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