you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
