Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
