I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
