Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
