So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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