Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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