I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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