fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
