After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize