This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
