remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
