I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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