Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
