he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I touched a dick in church today
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
