idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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