my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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