thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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