He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They took my balls.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am one with the molecules
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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