thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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