Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
