I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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