I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
