how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
