Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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