so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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