Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
where does the pee come out of this thing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have post one night stand depression
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