OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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